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Feeling Stuck, Afraid, Confused? Try this Six-Step Path to Build Your Confidence

By Kathleen Schulweis

If you are like most of us, and you are fully engaged in this big, challenging, and exciting world, then you’re facing confidence challenges every day.

Things happen, actions are taken, words are spoken that, like it or not, admit it or not, can disconnect us from our confidence. Sometimes those disconnections are so powerful that we cannot find our way to action. We become stuck, afraid, and confused.

Because life can be so challenging and sometimes paralyzing, building our self-confidence and self-esteem is a daily task. And what I know to be true is that building confidence is an inside out process from insight to action.

Here is a Six Step Path to help you connect back to your confidence:

Surrender to What Is
It is what it is. Things are what they are. Once you ‘get’ SURRENDER you can explore what ideas and beliefs you’ve been struggling with. Ask yourself:

  • What have I been holding on to?
  • What beliefs do I hold to be true?
  • If the beliefs I hope to be true are not, what might be possible for me?

Give yourself a Break and Take it Slow
Spend some time in ‘Surrender Place’ so you can draw yourself into the present moments instead of hanging out in the past (where things were and ought to be) or in the future (where things should and you want them to be). The present is where things are! You can explore, dream, wish, and plan in this space but it requires permission to just BE.

Gather Information and Guidance
If you’re just facing some shock, then it’s likely too early to create SMART goals. Rather just weigh your options and gather information. It’s background, facts, figures, and other’s perspectives on your situation that you want to gather here. Word of caution, if you’re asking folks who are afraid of the world and their lives, you’re going to get fearful responses to your situation, ditto the unrealistic. Try talking with those who have transcended difficult situations and come out the other side.

Prepare for Action
NOW start creating some goals BUT use a pencil. This is a fluid exercise NOT something you want in stone. If you take the stone approach, you’re going to end up having to surrender all over again. If you can reconcile yourself to the idea that things are fluid, then you can get really curious.

Take Action
Use those smart goals to help you break down your tasks into action items. Review them every day so you can build on your accomplishments.

If you Cannot Get Into Action, Then Seek Support
Hire a coach, or a therapist, talk with a transition consultant or your spiritual advisor, read a few books or take some courses related to change and personal growth.

Use these proven methods to move you into action because action will help reinforce your connections to your confidence from the inside out.